To Dharshy BFF (L)

Hey hun :)

No, you're not fat. Even Alice and Yat says you're preety. Fuck the guys who dissapear when they got to know me through you. They are jerks, complete bullmuthafuckingshit.
That proves what fuckers guys can be.
And im sorry if i was being a bitch to you. I just can't help it when i went to Ax's profile. I just wanted to blow up but i kept my composure. He treats us the same but you know how much i use to like him right? But i really can't take it last night i cried. Im sorry if i was being ignorant and stubborn. The stubborn part is just me. Even Kai once said im stubborn as fuck :)
The modelling thing picks people from all shapes and sizes darling. I saw their portfolio. People of all sizes and ages.
But now, i can't be bothered about looks alr. If people were to depend on looks to find a girlf/boyf or friends, those people are full of shit. Full of muthafucking egomaniacs.
Im always sad cause i feel like i don't belong in this family. I try to talk to mum but she always screams back at me. Especially when i talk to her nicely. And don't ask about my sis, she doesn't understand these things.
Im always sad cause my grandma passed away. Yeah im still sad about it. She's the only one who can actually understand me sincerely. And i can never have her back. When i complain to her about mum, she understands and she actually gives advice on how to get back at mum. LOL.
Im always sad cause i got no life. Ask Yat. We've been job hunting every weekend and this week is gonna be the other half of Orchard Road. Next week is hotels. Sigh.
Im always sad cause when i look at you, you have a decent roof over your head, food on the table and money to spend. Whereas i don't. I sleep in someone else'e house and have to pay a rent of $400 a month which is a heavy burden for my mum and i really wanna help out but no one wants to fucking hire me!
And sometimes i don't eat for days to save up for weekend expenses to find a fucking job.
Im always angry cause i got it from my dad i guess. Seeing physical and verbal abuses hurled at me, my mum and sister everyday. I think i swear alot cause of the abuses a few years back i guess.
Im always angry cause im mad at myself. Mad at myself for making mum dissapointed in me. Mad at myself for quitting school for that dumbfuck jackass loser. Mad at myself for falling in love so easily. Mad at myself for treating you like shit even tho you were there for me through tough times. Not literally but getting your texts when im down really made me smile. Mad at myself for avoiding you, Jet and Ax.

So yeah i guess you should know everything by now.
ILY BESTIE.