Dare for distance?

its only errm.. 10.12pm.

i've been thinking of Danny all these while. been thinking if his love is true. cause he hardly text me now, except when he misses me he'll text me.
like dooood i dont wanna sound like a hook up material to him. if i dont mean anything to him at all and if he doesnt show that he cares, we're better off without each other right? :/

"mondays, i sleep away.
tuesdays, i lie awake.
wednesdays, are the worse.
thursdays, i reminesce.
fridays, i see your face.
and i cant breath."

-dare4distance by NeverShout Never!


i wanna meet up w bby sooon like reeeeeeaall soooon but im always broke so, ahhh there goes the luck of spending time with bby :/

k hopefully Alex the cheebai is still online so i can 'cheebaicheebai' him hahahahahaha rofl :D

and ahhh fuck you nabeyyy recession (is it still??) i need a fuckin job ahhh why wont you people just gimme smth to work on and pay me?! #@*!&€ fuck gay shit Singapore hahahahahaha fuckersssss.

andand im nervous for the 11th July gig, Raw With Me. what if the mic cheekopek? then paiseh how? what if crowds start booing, wtf am i suppose to do? what if my screams/gore sounds fucking raw/not so nice? what if i forgot my lyrics[omfgsxsxsx the big ohfuckingno!]? what if i ss then people start shouting i really ss????? omfgsxsxs nabeyy cheeebyeeee i feel so fucking noob now.

O.o

k will update later or smth. meeting Yat for dinner tmrw so bye fuckass cheebye-ians :D

I have never felt this bored in my entire life!

its 4.46pm and im bored as fuck la.

zxomfg im worried for Yat. hope he wont kena. wont elaborate more. nabeyy :( :(

yo check this out!
www.makingthemodel.blogspot.com

its Luke Idham. shemale. kirekan 'SG top model' uhh. this kinda ppl only hang out with ppl who keep up with the latest fashion trend. but doooood why? at least Tashah Railey is effin gorgeous. and at least she's a girl :)

cause i had this incident at Clarke Quay that made me hatefuckinghate bapoks so fucking much. i was walking around the club area half sober, going to 7-11 with Yat. then this bapok caught my eye. she looked at me, survyed me up and down and gave me that disgusted look. like wtff? i was wearing brown cut off jeans with boxers inside and a white tank top and just regular converse. gosh do i look so fucking alien to you muthafucka?? nabey cheebye.
then Yat pulled me away and asked me to just heck care. i was like shouting 'wtff stare2 what sia cheenafuck bapok sial!'. lucky by that time she alr went in the idk what club alr. lolx.

not that i look down on transvestites or whatever. its just shemales/non-shemales who luuurves to bitch around about other people just cause of the way the person is dressed is a huge turn off la.
for me that is. hahahaha.

zxomfg Luke Idham, you so make me laugh my ass off today :D

Heartbreak, brain dead.

its 2.04pm. had a short nap after the shower. still feeling a lil sick but im all good.

found out Wan is att to Alice. zxomfg heeheeeeee last long eh korang! :D

mum passed me $5 before she went out just now. dont feel like eating so ima save the $5. maybe maybe not hahahaha cant resist the temptation of food uhh. lolx.

but i needa cut down my food intake. kinda gaining weight from all that sandwich and Cadbury from 7-11.

hmm i dont feel attached. its like yes im attached to Danny but at the same time we rarely text and hardly meet up. and he MIGHT (his might be coming is obviously a no he's not coming -.-) be coming for the Raw With Me on the 11th but i dont feel like seeing him either. i just can see that he's not into a serious relationship cause well, he hardly texts me and i can only text him when my sis leaves her phone unnoticed around the house. and i just can see that he just cant be bothered. ya get what i mean? he never show he cares.

words dont mean a thing to me.
actions speak louder than words.
if you prove to me that you love me,
i would prove to you that i love you.
but please baby, no more 'i love you/ i miss you' via Friendster/text msgs.
just prove to me that you want me.
prove to me that you still care.
cause words are nothing but a bunch of lies.

i dont think he would even read this as he doesnt know i have a blog cause well, lets just say he doesnt read blogs? -____-'

err. idk what to blog about now. feel like going back to sleep but im kinda hungry. kk i prolly wont save that $5 my mum gave me so ima go buy lunch or dinner later and prolly ask mum to give another $5 tmrw to top up my ez link card so i can go to SP and surprise Yat at taxi stand. lolx.

kk kinda bored alr. will update later yo :)

Short update. Sick uh.

its 6.12pm.

im down with fever, a really bad sorethroat and a really bad headache :(
worse, theres no panadol in my house. fuck ahh. Texted mum to get me panadol.

Yat brought me dinner just now. how sweet riiiight :D he also had a headache so i told him to go home. and i think he is otw home now :) gosh i treasure this dood a hell lot! thanks so much Yat!

anyone going for Raw With Me on the 11th of July at F.A.D Media? get tickets from me, $5 each. poster is up on my band's MySpace. it starts at 2pm so come down alright? :D

kk will update when i feel better. wanna take a short nap.

Insomnia has come.

its 12.22am and the mafucking flubug is back nabeyy. and so is insomnia -________-'

this just popped into my mind tho the news is like, a few days ago:

R.I.P Mikaeel Jackson. tho you freak me out in some of your music videos, you will forever live on in my heart and in everyone's heart as the legend and the King of Pop.
-al-fatihah-

anw, i just finished watching Blade.
chatted with Yat for awhile on MSN cause my phone lagg nak mampos.

and i found my earpiece ^.^
my sister took it. yet she even had the cheek to lie to me and say she didnt take it. felt like slapping her but scolded her instead. she shouted back at me. alaaaa budak2 zaman skarang. tsk.

im having sorethroat now.
bby didnt text me :(
i miss Dharsh, Wan, Yat, Liya and Ax.

ima eat my Cadbury Hazelnut later cause its chillin in the fridge. been eating that as supper almost everyfuckingday so ima put on weight anytime sooon. hahahaha sorethroat still can eat chocolate. pandai per Gabbie ^.^
*claps hands*
anw, i dont care cause nothing can seperate me and my chocolate :D heheheh mcm matair gitu. lolx.

Tiara and Eshia is coming for Raw With Me on the 11th of July! ima show yaw some sistalovee! <3

oooh and Whose Line Is It Anyway just started. mmmhmmmm my fave show! :D

k i'll udate later yo!

Oh flubug, scram.

its only 10.58pm. wow im early today.
cause i felt really sick :/

and omg Ax bought me a pressiieeeee which i have to get from Liya. and i hope she havent forget my 2 packs of Winstons! i'll get them hopefully next/this coming Saturday :D
Thanks Ax! *huggles!* weeeeeee!

hope SOM split EP launch was a success. and so are the sg bands that went ^.^

and Dharshybestestbestflen went for her cousin's indie gig today at OdioCrib. The Roses is the cousin's band i think. not into indie music but nevermind. lolx.

so, today met up w Yat at slide arnd 4pm. ate late lunch there and talked about stuffs. then headed to WestMall MacD to charge his lappy. then went to shop'n'save to get the cadbury chocolate thingy again and bought this sushi thingy for $1.60. been aeons since i had sushi. lolx. then went back to MacD and grab his lappy then went to some blocks to check out some screamo, brutal deathcore bands he downloaded.
not gonna mention the underground brutal deathcore bands he downloaded cause what stays underground, MUST stay underground. unlike BFMV -____-'
A Skylit Drive's new album is a stunnahh. when i heard the vocals i was like "eh dorang tukar vocalist pe?" cause the voice like so much higher. lolx. but its a good new album worth checkin out :D

then kecoh here and there, smoke smoke, walked to 7-11 at BB interchange there and bought sandwiches while Yat bought Big Gulp. ate them while walking back to Gombak. reached Gombak then slacked for awhile then Yat sent me home till the staircase leading up to my house.

am feeling sleepy, tired and having a vely vely bad flu so shut up before i shut your mouth for you nabey.

good luck for anyone who is having exams. especially to Yat, goodluck for your blueprint exams tmrw. all the best bro :D

k am gonna stop here. will blog later on if i have smth to blog about and if smth exciting is happening. lolx.

Does it make you feel sick?

its 12.45am and im bloated -_____-'

TO DHARSHY, ERA [even tho i dont know you well] AND ALICEEE,
AWWWW I LOVEE YOU GUYS SO VELYVELYVELYMUCHMUCHMUCHIEEESXSXSX!!! :D :D
HOPEFULLY ONE DAY WE'LL HANG OUT AND KACAU BANGLAS AND SCOUT FOR HOT WHITE SKATER DOODS :D :D

BIG GIRLS RULE THE FUCKING WORLD CAUSE THEY OOZE CONFIDENCE LIKE QUEEN LATIFAH! unlike those skinnyass bitches who still complain they're huge when they're stick thin -_______-'

AND TO DHARSHYBBYBESTESTBESTESTBESTFLEN :D
HEEEHEEEEEE I READ YOUR BLOG. ILYSM! YOU ARE MY SOUL SISTER I SWEAR. WE HAVE ALOT OF THINGS IN COMMON EXCEPT FOR FAMILY AND I SWEAR TO GOD I DONT WANNA LOSE A SISTER LIKE YOU. EVEN IF YOU DIED, I'D CAMP AT YOUR GRAVE AND SING TO YOU SONGS BY A DAY TO REMEMBER AND I'LL WAIT TILL YOU COME BACK TO LIFE. like that's going to happen. HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU SO VELYVELYMUCH BESTFLEN AHHH :D OH AND I'D LOVE TO BE YOUR ADOPTED SISTA HAHAHAHAHAHA ILYSVVVM BESTIE! *tight hug*

well today was spent at Safyie's crib at Bishan with Yat and Arif. But before that me and Yat went to Fairprice near Junction 8and bought 2 huge bottles of green tea and 'bought' a few cadbury chocolate. got tiramisu flavour also! that one steam uhh must eat that one agaaaaaiiin! :D

then we spent the day crapping around in his room, smoking, guitaring, camwhoring, laughing our asses off, stuffing ourselves w sweets and visiting some websites and of course, YouTube-ing. Safyie gave me and Yat a band tee each cause he say he wear it like too big. i got Alkaline Trio and Yat got uhm, Exploited :) yayy dapat free shirt. heheheh.

then around 7 plus we lepak bawah block. sessioning. i THINK i got a hang of the new song uh :/ then around 9 plus, me and Yat went to some nearby Takeaway stall and bought mee hoon and kuay teow. 2 packs with ALOT of quantity for just like, $1.60??? omfgsxsxs so effin cheap ahhh ^.^

then Yat piggybacked me till the block we lepak. lolx. he kept running and stop sharply and i was laughing my ass of like nobody's business. LOL XD then we reached the block and ate and i swear to god it was the first time in months i felt fucking full. can actually see that i boncet uhh but i try to hide it. heheheh :p

THE FACT IS I AM NATURALLY BONCET :/

then we play guitar and randomly made this post hardcore song [according to Yat] titled 'The Float Song'.
the lyrics is basically a guy tryna save a girl drowning without a float in the water and the lifegaurd is damn stoopid. dont know to swim nye lifegaurd :F the lyrics damn funny uhh :D
then when we translated the song to malay it was so damn kelaka nak mampos i cant control my laughter i literally rolled on the floor laughing my ass off!
then around 10 plus me and Yat bus-ed home :D

damn enjoyable day even tho we didnt go to town as we had planned the day before. lolx.

so today meeting Yat again cause he wanna go HMV at CityLink to play PS3 -_______-' and of course, jobhunting ahhhhhh. peh malas sak.

k will blog again later byeeeeeeee :D

oh andand...

i've been listening to Parkway Drive alot. i only have like, 3 songs from them and i got hooked. and i always put them on repeat.

idk why. i cannot. *inside joke*

nonono that's not the point. the point is, last 2 years back i didnt even know who or wtheck Parkway Drive is and now im hooked to their songs.

The Siren's Song is my fave :D

oh and im officially known as Gulong Girl by Yat. thanks ehh ^.^

K da bye.

Pissed, so fuck off for now, ty.

its 1.24am. im pissed. effin pissed. AAAARRRGGGHHHH >:-(

i misplaced my effin earpiece. cheebye. i left in on my bed before i went out and when i came home, like, an hour ago, it was gooooone. gahh the night is gonna be so boring without the earpiece. tkleh feeling if i wanna listen to songs -_____-
atm, anybody willing to lend me earpiece with a connector? *smiles ear to ear*

on a brighter side, had a good time with Yat today. he waited 4 fucking hours for me to wake up and get dressed. tell me, which guy best friend is willing to wait for hours for his bestf?? :D
met him then had my late lunch. proceeded to cityhall and walked to uhm suntec. dont know do what there -___-'
then walked to one fullerton. slacked at some floating platform lookalike except it has grass patches onit. then around 9pm headed to Esplanade. Yat thought it was some Jon Chan performing. padehal it was some botak dood. Hahahahaha.
Then walked to some 7-11 near bugis SMU and did what we did :D happy happy aledy.
ate our late dinner at some benches at SMU. then bus-ed home. had a great time laughing our ass off at some lame random jokes me and Yat made.
then kecoh here and there at Gombak and we headed home.

AND IN SOMEWAY SOMEHOW, I IMPRESSED 'THAT PERSON' BY ROLLING MY GULONG PERFECTLY CAUSE 'THAT PERSON' NEVER SEE A GIRL GULONG BEFORE. THEN 'THAT PERSON' FACE HAPPY GILER ALEDY THEN 'THAT PERSON' FACE SUDDENLY KEMBANG LIKE CHICKEN PAU :D

actually we got names uhh. heheh.

so today, a Saturday, me and Yat are going to Pasir Ris for some uhm beach/fishing fun i guess. might ask Dee to come down since she lives there ^.^

dharshy bby! idk what you ordered but im sure its gonna be a surprise :D
ILY BESTFRIEND! FOREVER AND EVERR!

An Evening With The Plague - click and check em out!

its 1.37am. and yeh im bored fuckers. lolx.
click on my header :)

that band kick ass. literally. they're from Adelaide in Australia. awesome tracks and they're really young like, 16. they're looking for a vocalist in their area so Singaporean/Malaysian readers, dont bother trying out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD

okehh back to my day. was supposed to go job hunting but ohwells woke up late and Yat was obviously pissed at me. lolx. but today, as in Friday, MUST GO JOB FUCKING HUNTING AGAAAIIINN! malas ahh paham malas takk?? but i need monehhh :(

currently listening to She's Got Style by NeverShoutNever. Yat says the whoeversingsthesongs sounds effin gay. agreed but the whoeversingsthesongs nice voice what. aperrr dahhh. lolx.

fat girls are fucking human so guys who say that they dont go for looks and all that bullfucks can go to fucking hell. cause obviously ALL, i literally mean ALL guys go for looks. i hate guys like that. what do you doods get from getting a hot girlf? what? nice to fuck? nice to look? nice to fucking grope? to hell with you fags.
all you guys care is about looks. why cant you pussies get a life and get a girlf who has an awesome heart rather than awesome features?
its a bonus if you get both but what if you only get a girl who is ugly as fuck but has a heart of gold? would you let her go just cause she's ugly and fat?
if its a YES, ima kill you bullfuckers.
if its a NO, a round of applause for you. all guys should be like that.

so guys, dont be picky when it comes to girls. accept them for who they are. looks arent important unless you're some fucker with a super huge ego the size of the whole universe combined -____-'

guys who m.i.a from the girls after the first meet up just cause of her looks/size, IMA KILL YOU FAGS. people like you dont deserve to live.

cheebye fags/pussies/pervs/bullfucks.

You cumsucker, yes you

its 2.25am. ignore the header for this post. ran out of ideas for th header. lolx.

am damn nervous/excited/ for the gig on the 11th. i have stage fright yaww! >.<
my last performance was 2 years ago with my ex band and it didnt go so well so im scared of this one.

hmm BTM is gg off to KL in 1 more day. sigh. ima miss Liya and Monmon :(

today nth much. woke up late like 2pm and cant do jobhunting aledy. met Yat and headed to Bishan then slacked at Safyie's [Through The Avenue's guitarist/vocalist] crib.
left around 10.30pm and reached home around 12am. lolx.
today must go jobhunting so i can go for countdown to 2010 in KL (Y)
if i dont have a job by october, the KL trip WILL BE cancelled, no doubt.

oh and i miss talking to Alex my cuppycakes. lolx.
heeeheeeeeee :D

and i cant sleep. so many thing gg through my head right now. like, im uber broke, i wanna see my bestie, gig performance on 11th july, wondering where dan's been (!), planning for KL trip, family shitty stuff. well i dont really have a family and i dont really have a home of my own so fuck that. hmm i wonder where my dad's been. mum is giving me shit now so im planning that if i ever find my dad, ima go live with daddy.
cause apparantly, my mum doesnt act like a mum. she comes home like before 5 in the morning half drunk, doesnt give me allowances and she shoots at me like im a nobody to her.
and she hasnt given me my allowance for 4 days straight -___-' like wtheck how am i to survive. i need to top up my ezlink, top up my phone and food. thats all man im not asking for much.
when i came home 2 days ago it seemed like she just got her pay cause i saw a new school bag for my sister, a new set of make up kit for herself and the usual kitchen stuffs -______-'''

i wanna move out soon. gahh.

Red fucking head, red fucking head

its 4.40pm.
yaaawwwww.

i've decided not to go redhead. since Alex says its ____________, i'll not go redhead. lolx. but i've decided to dye my hair totally black. as in midnight black. cause i still can see a lil of the blond at some tips of my hair and theres a lil brown all over so midnight black is the colour im gg for :)
and thinking of adding hair extensions and curl the bottom :D but no moneehhhhh :(

im beside Yat now. he's doing the tics and all. and he isnt talking to me. concentration -___-'

k la i wanna bloghop. will blog latersxsxsx yaww :D

Bliss is the sin

its 1.36am. damn sleepy.
btw, my band Sacrificial Lies is playing at FAD Media at Bugis on the 11th of July at 4pm. Tics at $7! Come on dowwwnnn! :D

anw, today wasnt so good. was tired and down with effin flu. went to apply for tcc as One told me but by the time i reached bugis's tcc, it was 5 plus. so decided to go some other day. walked around and bumped into Liya, Zacky, Alif and idk who else at Beats. missed liya :D they going off to KL on Friday and i asked Liya to get 2 packs of Winston there. hopefully she wont forget :/

dan didnt text me. im hoping for his texts every single day but ohwells O.o

i hope this goes far. but he isnt putting in any effort from the way i see it. is this even worth it? idk. idc.
im trying not to think of it tho it bugs me every single minute of the day. i love him but..

geeeez Gabbie stop it.

my nose cant stop flowing like tap water. dont tell me i got H1N1! nono cant be.

oh and im dyeing my hair red sooooon! chill. need technique ahhh O.o

i need a job. i need moneehhhh. i need hair extensions. i need new shoes and clothes. i need to continue studying. i need a private diploma. i need my late grandmother. i need ciggarettes. i need booze. i need to upload bloody new pics to here and myspace. i need food. i think im gaining weight from all the chocolates i've eaten. i need fresh air. i need love. i need care.

SOMEONE, GET ME OUT OF THIS STATE. IM TURNING TO THE WORSE.

IM BACK! :D

sorry for not updating, homosapiens. was lazy. lolx.
its 12.24am and im just home from lepaking with Yat.
and its the first time i learnt to roll my first tobacco :D

Last Saturday.
Tonned at East Coast. had shitloads of fun, even though its only me and Yat. drew a hot lady on the sand and wrestled on the beach. Yat fell a looooong way after he threw me down. lolx. i also dunno why uh. im that strong mehh? :D then walk2, venture here and there. not much people. loot stuff from 7-11. i forgot what we took. i remembered Yat drank Guiness Stout and i drank some drinkthattasteslikecoughsyrup. i also forget the name. lolx.
then after walking here and there, sat at some bench by
the sea and talk aboyt the McD gang *inside joke*. seriously talk crap sia. oh and we walked around East Coast barefooted. even to 7-11. heheheh. then fell asleep while talking my nonsense. woke up around 11am and went to his grandmother's house which was nearby. bathed and ate breakie there, then off to FAD Media. got paitau by those fuckers. we saw weird people with weird dressings and we had fun, even though we didnt go in the gig. like shitloads of fun uh especially the guy in trenchcoat. thought was some deathmetal band but got to know they play american idiot by greenday -.____-'. was like wtf? pakai fierce2 abehh main lagu punkrock. lolx. took secret photos of them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA ROFL :D
went home off at 6 plus and reached home at 8 plus and fell asleep. zzzzzzzzz...
Last Sunday
i swear i forgot what me and Yat did O.o

i feel as if im not his. it feels so 'free' cause he doesnt care. i had to text him then he text me. is this real or what?? goddamn it la fuck. just admit it la you go for looks. guys and their super huge ego. tsk.

ANYWAAAAAAAY [as if tryna stay away from the subject], today im ggg job hunting around town. coffee connosieur. one recommended me to go so i'll just go. must have a job by next month or KL trip cancelled ahhh.

and i hate bimbos. those people look down on people like me and Yat just cause we roll our own tobacco and loot things. like come on la its our life so shut up you fickle minded bunch of fuckheads. konon2 kkorang kaya bleh gi shopping, bleh beli rokok legal, bleh gi gig nak bayar, kluar makan McD, you think you rule the fucking world? no obviously you people dont impress me. not a slight bit.
and you literally go 'tsk' when we pick up ciggies from bins, loot stuff from 7-11, roll our own ciggies and have fun like nobody's watching. who the fuck you think you are? some rich bastards who loves money and look down on people like us. WELL A HUGE FUCK YOU TO THOSE KINDA PEOPLE. MONEY DOESNT EQUAL TO FRIENDSHIP/LOVE. its as long as we can have fun, we dont need money to liven things up.

FUCK WHAT YOU THINK. FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD. ITS ALL ABOUT RESPECT YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS.

DHARSH BESTIE, LISTEN UP

I DONT GET YOU. AT ALL. YAT SAID HE CALLED YOU AND YOU SAID YOU WERE ASLEEP AND HE JUST SAID 'NEVERMIND. ITS OKAY. GOODNIGHT DHARSH.' AND HE HUNG UP. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO OVER EXAGGERATE THE WHOLE SITUATION??
I KNEW HE WAS AT RAFFLES STATION. HE EVEN TOLD ME HE'S GOING DOWN TO THE MRT TO CALL YOU. I JUST SAID OKAY. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?? RUN TO HIM AND TELL HIM DONT CALL?? WHO AM I TO CONTROL WHATEVER HE DOES?? CANT YOU ACCEPT THE FACT I LOVE HIM LIKE A BROTHER?? I APPRECIATE ALOT FOR WHAT HE DID FOR ME LIKE GETTING LUNCH FOR ME AND GETTING ME A JOB AND ALL. I THANK GOD TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE HIM. PEOPLE LIKE HIM WHO DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF HIM. WHO COULDNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINION. CAUSE ITS JUST YAT. I EVEN APOLOGISE COUNTLESS TIMES TO HIM ABOUT EVERYTHING I DID THAT PISSED HIM OFF BUT HE SAYS ITS OKAY. THEN WHAT THE FUCK YOU EXPECT ME TO BLOODY SAY, DHARSH? WHAT??
HE EVEN SAY HE HIMSELF WANTS TO ACCOMPANY ME TO MEET DANNY. I ASKED HIM MANY TIMES 'YOU SURE??' HE KEEPS SAYING OKAY. THEN WHEN I WAS TALKING TO DANNY HE DRANK ANCHOR TO KEEP HIMSELF COMPANY. I EVEN ASKED HIM TO JOIN IN THE CONVO BUT HE SAYS HE DOESNT WANT TO.
THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BLOODY HELL DO, DHARSH??
WHAT??

IM NOT LEAVING YAT OUT. I WANT HIM AS A BROTHER CAUSE WITHOUT YAT, MY LIFE WOULD'VE BEEN WAAAAY WORSE OFF AND I WOULDNT HAVE A JOB.
IM TOUCHED BY WHAT YAT DOES FOR ME.

I just dont know why you're acting this way Dharsh.
Text me when you read this.

Attached

Its like, 4.13am. Haveta sleep earlier today as im supposed to meet Yat at 12pm today.

Well today was okayy. Thought there was Oi!Fest but Yat's friends texted him saying it got cancelled or smth cause practically, nobody [except for Yat's friends] were at Bellzone and there wasnt any posters up about the gig there.
I think it was a bloody joke from the organizers. Pfffft.

Then went to Odiocrib. Some post hardcore gig. Idk any bands there. And there wasnt alot of people. I guess the bands playing arent so well known but who knows they'll make it big. Oh whatever.
Got in the gig for free. AGAIN. Ader technique ahh. Lol.
Went in for less then 5 mins then went back out. Couldnt stand the heat and it wasnt so hyped like those deathcore/hardcore gigs. It was kinda boring :/
Then walked to Raffles. Slacked there and waited for bby. He came late seyy. Like, 8pm? -.-
Then from 8 plus to 9 we talked and stuff, get to know each other better personally. Shared life stories :D
Then Yat sit one corner drink Anchor. Ask him to join in he say he dont want. Wth?
Moved off about 10pm.
Parted w bby at CityHall MRT. No hugs or kisses :(
Then bus-ed home w Yat. Kecoh rabak in the bus and at Gombak. LOL.

And i swear bby looks so much like Louis of IBF/someAnugerahBand guitarist.
And he's mine, bitches. He's shorter than me and Yat but its cute what ^.^
I love my bby :D

K wanna sleep alr. My eyes are heavy as fuck.
Nights, homosapiens :)

Lusssssssshhh!

Its like, 3.38am. Insomnia is the shit yo.

Been online and watching tv since i came home. Bby asked me to call but i dont have home phone or prepaid now. Sucksssss.
Ahhhh i miss bby alr :D

Today was fucked la. Met Yat like bloody late then went to Beats cause Private Eye recording. Everything finished at 6 plus. Then no direction and headed to uhm City Hall i guess.
And monday is our recording. Blom jam at all ahh :(

I GOT A JOB AT ESPLANADE LIBRARY!
*jumps around*
As librarian. Key in book tags and all the typical librarian crap.
ZXOMFG SO HAPPY LA DEYYY!! :D :D :D

A million thanks to Yat for this. God i love you brudderrr :D :D

Then no direction headed to UOB. He kept quiet and muke mcm nak nangis. Its just so extremely bloody unusual to see Yat so quiet and all. Usually he'd be making lame jokes then we kecoh2 and shiok sendiri ketawe ^.^
But he refused to tell me anything no matter how much i bugged him and claimed that he's okayy. I just hate seeing people so quiet and not talking. Texted my own bestie Dharsh and she also refuse to tell me aboout anything -.-'

Like wtheck babe. Best friends dont keep secrets. Ah fuck la. What am i to you? Just your casual friend or your friggin bestie??
You say you respect Yat and all. But dont you respect me as your bestie? If you do, you could've just told me everything riiight??

Fuck idk why the hell im so emotional over this.
My besties mean the world to me.
But do i mean anything to them? I guess not.

And bby just texted me and asked if i received his text. Obviously i did receive it but i cant reply. Sorry bby :/

K back to what im gonna blog about.
Literally, its about friends.
Yes, im suck at friends.
No matter how hard i try, i cant seem to balance a good relationship w my friends or my best friends. Cause we always quarrel about lil things. I guess im too fucking sensitive to be anyone's friend.

Dharsh, i know you meant to not tell me anything about Yat falling for me and all but i knew it from the start. I knew it all along but unfortunately i dont feel the same way. I love Yat like a brother i never had. He cares and even bear to wait for hours just to hang out w me nearby. He cooked lunch for me and all. I appreciate all that. A hell lot. I never had a guy friend who'd do all that just to see me smile. No i dont go for looks either, just in case you are thinking.

I just see Yat as a best friend/brother. Stop 'forcing' me to go on with him in a r/s.

And Yat, dont terase if you read this ehh. And dont m.i.a from me also cause im so gonna bite till you bleed if you do >.<
I love you ahh brudderrrrr!

And mum just reached home. No link uh.

I think thats all for today?

Andand im immature as fuck cause i have a mindset of an 8 year old and i behave like one ^.^

And i miss my bby :D

Silverstein - I Am The Arsonist

Its 1.45am. Im boredddd. Fxck.

Sorry i havent been updating. Been preety lazy. Hahaha. Gosh i feel so lethargic from all the job hunting. Save me, anyone?

Yayy GenreBlender at Odiocrib todayy! And Oi!Fest on Sunday :D
And today ima ton with Yat. Cause he say he wanna drink. Not a huge friend of beer but its an exception when i drink with friends. LOL.
I dont even know wtf im talking about now. Make sense?

These past few days Alex has been calling me 'cutieeee' nonstop for a week straight and One has been saying im so called 'gorgeous' Wth?? Im not tryna sound proud or anything, neither do i feel good. Idk. I dont go fishing around for compliments and i dont wish to get compliments. LOL. I told you im weird hahaha.

Just now lepak with Yat and Joeyy. Went home early thought wanna catch some shut eye but i cant sleep. Bloody insomnia.

And i spent most of my money on food -__-'
I LOVE FOOD OKAYY!!

Today jamming. Originals, Enter Shikari's Sorry You're Not A Winner and As I Lay Dying's Forever. Gahh. Bloody old songs.

I want a boyfriend but i dont want a boyfriend. Geddit? Lol.
Its just so 'leceh/ma fan' like have to 'report' to the partner of your whereabouts. Like your partner is your parents. And its just so cliche to 'be in a relationship'. I want a different kind of relationship. But it wont be a relationship. Like a date but more than a date and lesser than relationship. Geddit?

Ima go stone around now. Lol. I'll update when i have the mood yaww. Tc people :)

Whiskey + me = talkcockaholic.

Its 1.23am.
Yayy got my connection back :D

Havent been updating since a few days back cause my wireless got screwed. Lol.

Last Sat me and Yat ton. At Clarke Quay. We were broke so we picked up ciggies and all sorta what-broke-people-do stuff. Found a half eaten donut in a Dunkin' Donuts box. Ate it. Well call us disgusting if you want. We dont care :)
Walked to Clarke Quay and found his friends. They invited us to drink. Ape lagi. Lol. Drank alot and Yat can even ask me to drag -.-'
Ended up, i lie down on Yat's lap and i started talking shit. I don't remember what i said but yeah.
After i sobered up, Yat dragged me to 7-11 and he 'took' Q Raspeberry Vodka. While i bought 2 garlic bread for $1.80. Hungry mahh. Lol.
Ooh then while walking back to his friends, we found a nearly finished drink. Heh. Walked back and drank the Scotch that i found near Riverwalk. Lol. It wasn't much but drank anyway. Hahaha.
Then we drank some more. I started talking my crap on MSN to Goregirl i think. Hahahahahahaha!
When morning came, we were fucking tired so we went to CityLink nye underground to sleep. Slept from 10am to 3pm. When we woke up, a buncha chinese girl dancers were dancing to some 'typical cheena kawaii music with the cute cheena kawaii voice'. Their dance steps like act cute only. Buncha mofos.
*shakes head*
Then we trained back to Gombak. Walked home and found out that mum isnt home and she left me a note saying that im muthafucking useless (Understand understood. Letdown). I was like ugh whatever. Showered and went back downstairs to Yat. Bought a packet of mee goreng and shared. Slacked to about 9pm and Yat went off and so did i.
Went home and slet around 11pm? I was so darn sleepy. Lol.

I hate hypocritical people. They and their fucking mindset. Fuck 'em all.

Behead The Mannequin is going off to KL in a few weeks. Their original is awesome. Dangg. If only we could sound like them. Only that we are much more brootal. Hahahaha lol wtf.

EH ADD SACRIFICIAL LIES ON MYSPACE. GONNA RE-RECORD THE ORIGINALS SOON. EH ADD LA MUTHAFUCKERS. AAAAAADDDDDDD!!

Ahh fuck on la to another person's blog.Knnbcb. I never did anything wrong sia. Cb.

Only darkness still remains

Its 11.52pm.

I don't really have much to blog about.

Met Dharsh from 2 to 5pm. Then met Yat to grab dinner from 6 to 8pm. Went home early as i was feeling rather sick with my red light and my energy has been drained out :/ TOTALLY DRAINED OUT.

I need a break. From all that has been happening. Im tired of having conflicts with my own mum and friends. I want to push the stop button on life and see the beauty of stillness. Of silence. Of serenity.

But that is unlikely to happen.

Yo. Skrunk with mehh? :D

Its 12.55am.
*yawns*

Just now slept at 6am. Then woke up and met Yat at SP around 3pm. Lepak at taxistand skejap, then head to Foodcourt somewhere in SP to eat our late lunch/early dinner.
Ate rice with fish and chicken plus the gravy for 2 bucks! :D
After that, Yat wanted to got to his school library cause he has a test today and he needa copy down notes. It was already 6 plus so we were scared we won't be able to make it to Liya's pit. So we just took a bus to East Coast. Got lost somewhere near Roxy Square. Asked for directions and walked the long wayy to ECP. Reached ECP and had to walk a LOOOOONG way to bbq pit 1, which was at the other end
-______-'
So damn tiring, halfway walking, we walked around ECP barefoot. The texture of the concrete was a lil ticklish i felt like laughing but i kept my cool ^.^
Then walked on the beach. Even more ticklish. Have to tahan luh walking to pit 1. Sigh.

Then i saw Liya running towards me, screaming my name O.o
Then we hugged. Aaaaawwwwww :D
Walked to the pit and shook hands w the others. Zacky and a few others were there. Mondre fed me her home made chocolate cake. It was good. Wanted more but nevermind. Lol.
Then more people came. Including the ex. I was like saying to Yat, 'Alamaaaak! Damn la.'
Shook hands with the ex and it was so awkward we didnt talk to each other at all. Ohwell.
Around 8 plus the 'cooking of food' started. I helped out Liya with the miniature food like hotdogs, crabsticks and fishballs. Poke them thru the sticks, seasoned them in butter and we bbq-ed it. Then more food had to be cooked as more people were coming. Liya was cooking the chicken wings. It was hard for her. Lol. But its fun cooking for people. Then liya keep saying, 'Eh cook more, cook more.' I was eating the food and cooking at the same time. Heh.
After an 2 hours of cooking, making drinks and kecoh-ness, i went home as Yat had to be home by 11pm cause of family stuffs. I wanted to ton but its a weekday. Besides, im not used to tonning on weekdays and furthermore today ima get free Starbucks. Don't wanna miss it. LOL.

Liya bby, sorry i can't ton today okehh. Saturday we ton eh? Have fun at the pit!

Dharshy, tell me what's wrong with you and N?? :/

Hahahaha i miss everyone already.

Anyway, today can wake up late cause Yat finish at 5pm ^.^
Yayyay babusingh. LOL.

*inside joke*
'Bird sister old. Sitting on the window. Grandmother is already old. Teeth left only two.'

LMFAOROFL!!!! Literally.

Kk wanna stone on my bed liao. Taking care yawwnigguhshizzlewiththafloww yo! :D

This is war, so fight.

Its 1.32am.

Currently listening to White Chapel.
Covering As I Lay Dying's Forever and Carnifex's Lie To My Face. And Yat haven't pass me Carnifex nye lagu. Besst ah (Y)
Jamming this Sat. Might be at Beats.
YAYYY! AND OHEMGEE IT'S BEEN A LOOOOONG TIME SINCE I LAST JAM! Of course la happy :D

SACRIFICIAL LIES IS GONNA MAKE A COMEBACK YAWWW! :D

Anw, back to highlights of teh dayy.
Met Yat at SP at around 2pm and ate Roti Prata there. The prata thingy damn pekat but sedapp uh. The curry also sedap :)
Then head to Suntec for the interview. Then the person say its at Raffles City -.-'
But the person say its at Suntec whaaaat. Mofo laaa.
Walked back to Raffles. Got to the pushcart thingy then got to know its commission based. Fuck la.
Then was supposed to go 'kacau' Liya at her workplace at Changi airport but last min she tell me and Yat its actually INSIDE the departure hall -.-. Kiwekk then got no plans alr. Head to Penin to see guitars. But before that, headed to the cheap pinoy shop for the cute smiley biscuit thingy. After the Penin thingy, head to Adelphi ansd ate the biscuit thingy and smoke. Then got hyper and did our usual stuffs.
Walked to Raffles and bought Big Gulp. Shiat now ez link left $1 plus plus. Sat at UOB. Found another rokok gulong. Inside still got alot sia. Then we smile2 psl jumpe rokok gulong. Gile wehh. LOL.
Sat there and talk and did our usual stuff and headed off at 9pm cause Yat was tired. Walked to DXO nye busstop and bus-ed to Bukit Batok. Walked to Gombak MRT. Kept quiet thru the whole walking trip cause i was so effin tired.

Now im back yaww. It was a good day today. Didnt have much food to eat but its okehh. Thanks for everything today Yat :D

Im tired ahh will blog later okehh bye.

Mum, i still hate you but im sorry. Fuck.

Broken promises

It's 1.10am.

LADY GAGA IS COMING TO SINGAPORE! XD
*jumps around*
Ohemgee. I love her songs. And her hair. Haha.

Was suppose to meet Yat around 1pm at SP. But i woke up at 3pm. Bet he was super pissed :/ then he say it's okay he'll come over to Gombak at 5pm. Took my time, siap siap, watched teevee. Went out at 5.30pm. Heheheh. Sorry ahhhh.
Ate my mee goreng with long beans while Yat ate mee hoon with long beans and chili at Ananas Cafe. It is so effin cheap and the quantity is a hell lot la. It costs only $1.70? And i think the makcik also recognize us alr. LOL.
Walked to West Mall. Bad mood. You know i know la eh Yat. Heh. Walked around then around 7pm walked back to Gombak. Sat at Little Guilin for awhile. Smoke, then walked to slide. Had lotsa fun and i squeeeeezed the BIG BIG secret out of Yat. Damn celaka la. Hahahahaha! No the secret is for me, Yat and Dharsh to know and no, there's no way you can find out about it. Nehninehnipupu *sticks tougue out*
Did our usual stupid stuffs there like people watching, imitating jocks and matreps, smoke and lepak rabaaakkkk.

*imitating a matrep complete with their tougue and muke tak perlu*
'Rabakk uh geng! Rabakk SIIOOOLLLL!'

Kk back to meself ^.^

Yo Yat, idk why you have to hide it from me. Dude. I'll still love you as my dear friend and no, i will NOT m.i.a from you okehhh!

Anw, have to meet Yat at SP tmrw at 1.30pm. Haiya. Sian uh always have to go job hunting. Anyone, gimme a job please?

It's like i have no life uh. Fuck. Okehh i admit i don't have a life. Except in the cyber world. Omfg how shitty and lameass fuck.

Fuck la fuck.

Dear Mum,

Im your friggin 18 year old daughter and the way you treat me is like im your friend. Im getting sick and tired of you calling me useless with no education. Yes i regret quitting school but at the same time i wanna get a job to share your burden. Sometimes i cry, thinking why do you have to treat me this way. Am i anything to you? Are you sick and tired of me asking for money every weekends? If you are, then tell me, so i won't have to ask you for money or ask you to bring home food. I swear nenek is a much better mother than you. I swear she is. She spoils me silly but disciplines me hard and taught me about life. You? You taught me nothing. NOTHING. You threw me aside to spend time with your friends/flings and now you want me to understand you?? What kind of mother are you? Is this some fucking sick joke?? What joy do you see in doing this to me?? Can't you underfuckingstand im trying my fucking best to get a fucking job and all you do is scream at me and degrade me everytime you see me.
I know you're dissapointed to see me without a life but im trying to find a living here so i won't have to depend on you anymore cause i know how hard it is for you. You didn't have to text my friend 'Bynk kau nye keje. Give me your office number.' -translate- 'Don't lie that you've been working. Give me your office number.'. I admit i was wrong to lie to you i have a job cause at the same time i don't want my own mother to look down on me. I know i was wrong. And for that, IM SORRY.

But whatever, mother. I hope you're happy degrading me and all. I know its hard for you to trust me but just this once, im asking you to trust me that im looking around for a job. My friend had to beg his friend for a job you know. Do you know how ashamed i was?? My friend had to literally beg his friend to land me a job.

Bye, mother. I hope you'll never read this post cause i fucking hate you for now.

Mood:diediediediedie.

About me [out of boredom]

Its 2.42am. Bored so i blog. Make sense yeah?

Ima tell you more about myself as people don't read my Myspace 'About Me' section. I hate it people don't read them. Mofos.
Anw, here goes :

People know me as Gabbie, online and real life.
Im 18 this year but i behave like an 8 year old. I can be a real brat sometimes but it depends on the situation.
My family has been in a really bad state since i was 13. Im still tryna get used to it. I have difficultiess communicating with a woman i refer to as Mum and a small kid whom i refer to as Lil sis. We're extremely financially unstable. Life is really hard for us. My Dad just dissapeared since September last year.
I have awesome friends. Online and real life. They never fail to make me laugh and brighten up my day. And for that, i love them to bits and chumps. My friends are the world to me :D
I love food. ALOT. I spend most of my money on food. Im a junk food addict and a loyal devoter of Mee Goreng. I also love Nasi Ayam Penyet, Nasi Goreng, Laksa, Fish Ball Noodles, Fish&Chips and Sushi.
I love making new friends. Im shy as fuck but i'll talk if you talk.
Like any other girls, i love to shop. But due to the terrible financial state that im in, i can't do any shopping atm.
I love M.A.C eyeshadows. They are easy to blend and the colours are fantabulous :D
I love long haired skaters/band-sters. They turn me on for no apparent reason. Haha.
I have a habit of biting my nails and daydream when im bored. I would venture in my own little world without noticing anything around me.
I use to think the emo look was cool. But now when i think back, it was stupid.
I love to watch America's Next Top Model, Style Jury, Project Runway and sometimes, soccer.
I listen to ALL types of genre. So don't label me as you like.
I hate guys who go for looks. That's just so cliche boys. Get over the fact that you can't get a hot girlfriend to show off to your guy friends.
I hate insects. I have fear of cockroaches and anything that has plasticky, fluttering wings and can crawl.
I don't go for looks. I don't see why you should.
I smoke and drink but no, not to the point that i don't realise what i do and no, not to the extend that i get fucked by some stranger.
Im in love with Mitch of Suicide Silence :D
I got chased by dogs and had to run down a long stretch of road before they stopped chasing me.
I use to cut myself with a math set protractor [okehh start laughing already!]. Kental as fuck i know.
I want to dye my hair platinum blonde. But not the minah kind of blonde.
I detest people who abuse animals. Fuck you chinamen.
I nearly turned vegetarian.
I kicked my friend in the face and neck in the mosh pit TWICE.
Im really sensitive and if you ever got to my nerves, i'll beat the fuck out of you and don't care how you'll react next.
I look arrogant in real life but once you get to know me, im friendly. Really :)
I was raised by my grandma till i was 16 and my Mum came to take me away.
Im currently listening to Its Over by Jesse McCartney repeatedly cause im typing this and too heck-care to change the song. Heh.
I love surprises. Unexpected ones :D
I love going for gigs and try to make friends over there.
I hate people who are too controlling/judgemental/stereotypical. Get over the fucking fact that no human in this world can be perfect.
I love piercings and tatoos. I use to have snakebites and a septum a few months back but took it off cause my ex ex boyfriend didnt approve of it and i got sick of it.
Tatoos should be appreciated as work of art, not destroying your body.

Lastly, i have more to share but it will be up on the next post :D

<3