Where did i go wrong?

time check: 2.39am

i've officially lost a bestfriend. her name is Dharsh. we went through shit together for 2 motherfucking years and now all the memories of walking around town like zombies with bubble tea in hand, looking at cute hot guys and comforting each other about our insecurities, went down the drain. the big black dirty drain.
she says i've changed in a bad way. i've became ruder, more straight forward and less caring about people's feelings. yeah maybe its true.

when i start becoming ruder, its all from the anguish i have inside.
straight forward? i have always been.
less caring towards people's feelings? thats cause i realise that if i care too much people take advantage of it and crush my fucking heart so whats the point of caring so much?

i never hated her and i never will.

i've thrown away everything you gave me. i've burned the rasta friendship band you gave me a month ago. you wanted out of this bestfriendship, im giving it to you.
whatever, you're not gonna read this blog again anyway.

i feeli like crying but im gonna stay strong for this and nobody is gonna bring me down. nobody.
im gonna start reminding myself everyday that she is not a friend but a person i never know. i've only seen her on MySpace blablabla.
so i wont feel anything losing her cause i know it hurts like shitfuck losing a bestfriend like...
ah fuck it nevermind.

i realise i can never be the best bestfriend for anyone. i have too much insecurities, too many bad sides that i swear people are gonna start leaving in a straight line if they find out.
im lacking girl friends. but i dont wanna give a fuck anymore.

&goodbye Dharsh :'(
wish you all the best in the future.


ps: what's up with those hardcore kids wearing tye dye shirts anyway??????!!!! O.o