People = SHIT.

thats me haha! unedited okayy! :D

time check: 12.30pm.

hmm. i've been thinking for a few days. some serious thinking.
this year, i've lost alot of people. alot of friends, a best friend even.

the first person to go was my late grandma who died at age 61 because of cancer. it hurts so much to see her go as she was the motivation i needed. but i knew i have to be independent the moment i knew i've lost her, which was on new years eve last year.

second was my ex boufriend, Iszwan. i never really thought of going far with him neither was i toying with his feelings. i knew i loved him but i guess time took its toll on me and i realise some people were to judgemental on the other person's family background. i didnt say i wanted to get out of that relationship but he called it quits. so yeah. he was there when i told him my grandma died and well he comforted me and such. but i guess its cause of my big mouth that i've lost him.

third was my mum's trust. i've just lost so much of her trust that now i dont even speak to her as i know she has nothing to say to me except for insults. i shouldnt have betrayed the trust that she has in me. i was stupid. but you know the feeling of desire? its like you want it so much and your ego grew so huge it overlaps trust? k not overlap uh. its something like that. well i'll talk to my mum soon, hopefully during hari raya or something. sigh.

forth, my bestfriend Dharsh. its just cause of a small miscommunication she wanted out. yeah i admit i was being a bitch to her most of the time and she says i've changed alot but people change as years pass. i cant possibly be the same person 2 years ago can i? 2 years worth of friendship just gone with a blink of an eye. sigh. not even a billion sorrys can make up for my attitude on her. i just cant believe its over. i still kept whatever she gave me and her name in my phonebook is still Dharsh Bestie <33. but i guess she wants me out of her life and i have no rights to fight back cause i knew whatever i did was wrong and i respect her decision. i wont bother her anymore, i guess. its hard as fuck for me but i gotta move on you know :(

fifth, i lost a friend, Liya. i have no comments on that one. she showed me attitude when i spoke to her nicely so i guess its over too. deleted her number out of my phonebook and stuffs like that. we had great times but i have to move on so does she and blah i really cannot be bothered to talk about her. fuck.



hmm. there are a couple more but i think i'll stop here cause i forgot about things i wanted to say and shit like that. sigh.

and i hate people who flirt with me for a couple of days then totally ignore me like im the air. wtf la get lost you dumbfucks and stay out of my life.